Gordon Sondland Testifies: Pence, Pompeo Were “In The Loop” On Ukraine Quid Pro Quo

Gordon Sondland Testifies: Pence, Pompeo Were “In The Loop” On Ukraine Quid Pro Quo


PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT. THANK YOU, FRIENDS DOWN HERE, UP
THERE, ALL ACROSS AMERICA! WELCOME, WELCOME, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. AND WE–
( CHEERS )
ARE LIVE, LIVE, RIGHT THERE
AFTER THE DEMOCRATIC DEBATE. IT IS THE FIFTH DEBATE, RIGHT? THIS IS THE FIFTH DEBATE. ANOTHER SO HOLD ON. OKAY, THERE YOU GO.( LAUGHTER )
AND I BELIEVE– I BELIEVE AMERICA GETS A FREE SUB NOW. AND, HOPEFULLY, A NEW PRESIDENT.( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Jon: OH, WOW.>>Stephen: WE’LL BE TALKING
ABOUT THAT IN A SECOND. BUT, FIRST, THIS WAS A HUGE DAY
IN THE UKRAINE SCANDAL. THERE WAS EXPLOSIVE TESTI-RRHEA
FROM AMBASSADOR TO THE EUROPEAN UNION AND MAN WHO JUST SPILLED
THE TEA ON D.J.T., O-KERRR GORDON SONDLAND. I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN
TONIGHT’S LIVE EDITION OF “DON AND THE GIANT IMPEACH.”>>GET ME OUT OF HERE!( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: ANGRY PEACH. SONDLAND DROPPED THE BIGGEST
BOMBSHELL IN HIS OPENING STATEMENT.>>I KNOW THAT MEMBERS OF THIS
COMMITTEE FREQUENTLY FRAMED THESE COMPLICATED ISSUES IN THE
FORM OF A SIMPLE QUESTION: WAS THERE A “QUID PRO QUO?”
THE ANSWER IS YES.>>Stephen: YES! HIGH SAID IT ON NATIONAL
TELEVISION! I’M SATISFIED. I YIELD THE BALANCE OF MY TIME
TO CONGRESSMAN JACK DANIEL’S.( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
OH! OH! MMM. NOW, SONDLAND MADE IT CLEAR,
THIS WHOLE UKRAINIAN SCHEME, NONE OF THIS WAS HIS IDEA.>>WE ALL UNDERSTOOD THAT THESE
PREREQUISITES FOR THE WHITE HOUSE CALL AND THE WHITE HOUSE
MEETING REFLECTED PRESIDENT TRUMP’S DESIRES AND REQUIREMENTS
AT THE EXPRESS DIRECTION OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. WE FOLLOWED THE PRESIDENT’S
ORDERS.>>Stephen: HISTORICALLY
SPEAKING, THERE IS NO DEFENSE MORE HEROIC THAN, “WE WERE JUST
FOLLOWING ORDERS.”( LAUGHTER )
NOW, AFTER MONTHS OF NOT KNOWING WHY THE ADMINISTRATION WAS
WITHHOLDING WHAT UKRAINE WAS WAITING FOR, SONDLAND FINALLY
CALLED TRUMP DIRECTLY.>>IT WAS A VERY SHORT, ABRUPT
CONVERSATION. HE WAS NOT IN A GOOD MOOD.>>Stephen: THAT DOESN’T SOUND
LIKE TRUMP.( LAUGHTER )
HE’S USUALLY A LITTLE MISS SPRAY-ON SUNSHINE. SO ON THE CALL, SONDLAND ASKED
WHAT TRUMP WANTED FROM THE UKRAINIANS, AND SONDLAND SAID
THAT TRUMP SAID… WELL, I’LL TELL WHAT YOU. I’LL JUST LET TRUMP TELL YOU
WHAT HE SAYS HE SAID.>>SO HE’S GOING, “WHAT
DO YOU WANT? WHAT DO YOU WANT? I HEAR ALL THESE THEORIES. WHAT DO YOU WANT?”
RIGHT? AND NOW, HERE’S MY RESPONSE THAT
HE GAVE– JUST GAVE. READY? YOU HAVE THE CAMERAS ROLLING? “I WANT NOTHING. THAT’S WHAT I WANT FROM
UKRAINE.” THAT’S WHAT I SAID. “I WANT NOTHING!”
>>Stephen: I WANT SOMETHING. I WANNA KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON
WITH THAT COUPLE IN THE BACKGROUND.( LAUGHTER )
WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY– WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING OUT
THERE?>>Jon: THEY’RE JUST CHILLIN’,
HUH?>>Stephen: “HONEY, OUR NEIGHBOR
IS SHOUTING ON THE LAWN AGAIN. GO AND GET THE HOSE. THAT’S THE ONLY WAY HE’LL
LEAVE.” OKAY, SOUNDS FAIRLY INNOCENT. A MAN ANGRILY SHOUTING INTO THE
PHONE, “I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING!”
BUT HERE’S WHY HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A BIT OF A CRANKY PANTS
THAT DAY. THIS PHONE CALL HAPPENED “THE
SAME DAY THE WHISTLE-BLOWER COMPLAINT WAS DELIVERED TO THE
HOUSE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE.” OH, DONNY’S NO DUMMY. HE KNEW HIS DING-DONG WAS IN A
DOOR HINGE.( LAUGHTER )
YOU GOTTA SAY, THAT’S REALLY SUSPICIOUS TIMING. THAT’S LIKE WAITING UNTIL YOUR
PARENTS ARE PULLING INTO THE DRIVEWAY TO TEXT THEM, “PLEASE
COME HOME. SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE HOUSE,
THREW A HUGE PARTY, AND HID ALL THE VODKA IN MY STOMACH!”
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
NOW, THE PRESIDENT WASN’T THE ONLY ONE SONDLAND DROPPED A DIME
ON. HE ALSO FINGERED MIKE PENCE.>>I WAS IN A BRIEFING WITH
SEVERAL PEOPLE, AND I JUST SPOKE UP, AND I SAID IT APPEARS
THAT EVERYTHING IS STALLED UNTIL THIS STATEMENT GETS MADE. SOMETHING– WORDS TO THAT
EFFECT. AND THE VICE PRESIDENT NODDED,
LIKE, YOU KNOW, HE HEARD WHAT I SAID, AND THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH
IT, AS I RECALL.>>Stephen: KEEP IN MIND,
NODDING IS THE BIGGEST MOVEMENT MIKE PENCE CAN MAKE. IF HE MOVES HIS BODY ANY MORE
THAN THAT, THE DEVIL WILL ACCUSE HIM OF DANCING.( LAUGHTER )
AND MOTHER WILL NOT BE PLEASED! THAT’S ILLEGAL IN THIS TOWN,
KEVIN BACON! SONDLAND WENT ON TO EXPLAIN HOW
MANY SENIOR OFFICIALS WERE IN THE KNOW.>>A LOT OF SENIOR OFFICIALS. A LOT OF SENIOR OFFICIALS. EVERYONE WAS IN THE LOOP.>>Stephen: EVERYONE? COULD YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC?( AS SONDLAND )
>>SECRETARY POMPEO. SECRETARY PIRRY. BRIAN McCORMICK, WHO IS
SECRETARY PERRY’S CHIEF OF STAFF AT THE TIME. MISS KENNA WHO IS THE ACT AGO
PARDON ME, WHO IS THE SECRETARYEATE FOR SECRETARY
POMPEO. CHIEF OF STAFF MULVANEY. MR. MULVANEY’S SENIOR ADVISER
ROB BLAIR. AMBASSADOR BOLTON. DR. HILL. MR. MORRISON AND THEIR STAFF AT
THE N.S.C.>>Stephen: “I’D ALSO LIKE TO
INCRIMINATE MY AGENT, BABY DOLL, MARCIE FROM WARDROBE… EVERYBODY AT
THE R.N.C, MICK MULVANEY. WE COULDN’T HAVE PRESSURED
UKRAINE WITHOUT YOU… THEY’RE PLAYING ME OFF. I WANT TO THANK THE
WHISTLEBLOWER, EVERYBODY AT HBO. CRIME IS CRIME IS CRIME IS
CRIME. THIS IS FOR YOU, MOM. WE DID IT! GOOD NIGHT!”
LET’S GO THIS WAY. MOW, IT’S NO SURPRISE WHO
SONDLAND SAYS WAS THE DELICIOUS NOUGAT AT THE CENTER OF THIS
CONSPIRACY.>>SECRETARY PERRY, AMBASSADOR
VOLKER, AND I WORKED WITH MR. RUDY GIULIANI ON UKRAINE
MATTERS AT THE EXPRESS DIRECTION OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES. WE DID NOT WANT TO WORK WITH
MR. GIULIANI.( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: GET IN LINE.( LAUGHTER )
NO ONE WANTS TO WORK WITH RUDY GIULIANI! HE SPITS WHEN HE TALKS, AND HE
SMELLS LIKE THE INSIDE OF A BELLY BUTTON.( LAUGHTER )
NOW, SONDLAND SAID TODAY HE DIDN’T REALIZE WHAT THEY WERE
DOING WAS WRONG, BECAUSE NO ONE EVER TOLD HIM IT WAS WRONG.>>NO ONE SAID, “BACK OFF OF
UKRAINE, THIS IS DANGEROUS, YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING THAT’S
UNTOWARD, WE HAVE CONCERNS.” I DON’T REMEMBER ANYBODY
SOUNDING ANY ALARM BELL BECAUSE, OF COURSE, HAD SOME
MENTIONED IT, I WOULD HAVE SAT UP AND TAKEN NOTICE.>>Stephen: OF COURSE NO ONE
TOLD YOU IT WAS WRONG! YOU ARE THE PATSY! THAT’S WHY NO ONE SAYS, “HEY,
CAN YOU TAKE THIS BACKPACK THROUGH CUSTOMS FOR ME? I WOULD DO IT MYSELF, BUT IT’S
SO FULL OF HEROIN.” WANT TO TAKE IT? NO? DELICIOUS.”( APPLAUSE )
HI! WATCH ON THE. SONDLAND ALSO REMEMBERED THAT HE
DID TALK TO TRUMP ON AN UNSECURED PHONE FROM A KIEV
RESTAURANT, BUT THE PART HE REMEMBERS MIGHT SURPRISE YOU:
>>WHAT TRIGGERED MY MEMORY WAS SOME REFERENCE TO
A$AP ROCKY WHICH WAS I BELIEVE THE PRIMARY PURPOSE OF THE PHONE
CALL.>>Stephen: YEAH, A$AP ROCKY WAS
THE PRIMARY PURPOSE OF THE CALL, AS IN:
(AS TRUMP) “ZELENSKY BETTER LAUNCH THE
BIDEN INVESTIGATION ASAP, OR HIS LIFE’S GONNA GET ROCKY.” NOW– “PUT A BEAT BEHIND THAT.” NOW, DEMOCRATS, DEMOCRATS ON THE
COMMITTEE ASK SONDLAND ABOUT THE COLORFUL LANGUAGE HE REPORTEDLY
USED WHEN TALKING TO TRUMP ABOUT ZELENSKY.>>WELL, HE ALSO TESTIFIED THAT
YOU CONFIRMED TO PRESIDENT TRUMP THAT YOU WERE IN UKRAINE
AT THE TIME, AND THAT PRESIDENT ZELENSKY, QUOTE, LOVES YOUR ASS,
END QUOTE. DO YOU RECALL SAYING THAT?>>YEAH, IT SOUNDS LIKE
SOMETHING I WOULD SAY. THAT’S HOW PRESIDENT TRUMP AND I
COMMUNICATE– A LOT OF FOUR LETTER WORDS. IN THIS CASE, THREE LETTER.>>Stephen: HUH. THEY REALLILY USED FOUR-LETTER
WORDS AND THREE-LETTER WORDS? QUID. PRO. QUO. THAT CHECKS OUT. WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT. JOHN HEILEMAN AND ALEX WAGNER
FROM “THE CIRCUS” ARE HERE. BUT WHEN WE RETURN, MY LIVE
COVERAGE OF THE DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE! IT STICKS AROUND!